TORNADO MARRIAGE- PART 2 BY DAVE WILLIS.

There are five factors in the storm of marital conflict, and they all start with the letter “f” (hence the “F5” reference). Each of these factors leads in a cycle to the next one on the list:

 

Fantasizing – Frustration – False Assumptions – Fighting – Fatigue – Fantasizing (repeat)

… CONTINUED

If you find yourself in this storm that has been the end of far too many marriages, please don’t give up. Your marriage CAN get out of this exhausting cycle of negativity and conflict. 

You have the power to bring peace. The F5 storm has an F5 solution. Here how it works:

Frustration – Forgiveness – Fix thoughts on positive – Focus on God’s Word – Finding Peace

The F5 Peace Plan starts with FRUSTRATION: Frustration is an inevitable part of life and marriage, but you don’t have to let that frustration lead you into the storm cycle. In the peace plan, the moment you feel frustration, you break the negative cycle by choosing *forgiveness.* Choose to let go of whatever grudge or animosity you’re carrying.  St. Augustine said, _“Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and then hoping the other person dies.”_ Grudges and “keeping score” of faults will poison your marriage. Choose to forgive and move forward with grace. This is the first and most important step in finding true and lasting peace in your marriage.

After you forgive, follow Paul’s advice in Phi 4:8 and “FIX your thoughts on the good.” Don’t let your mind fixate on the negative. Whatever captures your *focus* will seem more significant, so make sure you’re focusing on good things. If you’re looking for your spouse’s flaws, that’s all you’ll see; but if you’re looking for the good, you’ll start to see it.

This should lead to the next step: Focus on God’s promises. Remember that God’s with you and is bigger than whatever struggle you’re facing. His promises can be trusted. Immerse yourself in God’s word and choose to believe that God’s in control even when life’s complicated.

As you do these things, you’ll discover a mental and spiritual renewal, which leads to the final step, which is “Finding Peace.” Real peace is found in the Prince of Peace. When Christ is the centre of your thoughts, He’ll always bring more peace to your perspective. He wants to bring more peace to your heart, your home, and your marriage.

One of the most practical reasons why I love this peace plan is that you don’t need your spouse to participate with you to do it. You don’t have to get stuck in the cynical cycle of excuses that say, _“Well if my husband/wife would just do their part, then the marriage would be great.”_

It’s never your job to fix or change your spouse. Your job is to love your spouse and trust God to do the rest. If you follow this peace plan, even if your spouse isn’t currently joining you in the peace process, you’ll still find that God will start bringing more peace to your home. I believe your example will eventually be a factor in bringing a change of heart to your spouse too. Choose to be the first one to stop the fighting. Refuse to keep living in the eye of an F5 Marriage Tornado when peace is within your grasp. Trust God to calm the storms and He will.

BLESSINGS...

DAVE WILLIS.